maizie jane

maizie jane was born on march 20 at 8:16pm after 29 hours of labor, 17 hours and 16 minutes of which were considered active labor. she weighed in at 8 pounds 0.6 ounces, and is 20.5 inches long. she has very dark hair and a lot of it. she also came out with not one but two hickies on her right arm. her tongue never stops moving and she likes to suck on her middle and ring finger on her right hand. maizie startles easily, which leads to some of the cutest cries i have ever heard! in between each wail she will do a high pitched gasp; i will always know when my baby is crying because of that gasp. maizie already has a very steady gaze. she will stare at you for a long time and coos a little when you talk to her. other than getting startled easily maizie is a very calm baby. there is no way to explain the love i have for her, and i dont want to share her with anyone. as soon as i hand her over to someone i want her right back.

as i mentioned before, labor was ridiculously long, and unbelievably painful. my goal with the birth was to do a 100% natural child birth. and i lasted almost all of the way and then i couldnt do it anymore. right around 6 in the morning i was told i was 9cm dilated and that i would probably start to push soon. so we filled the tub and i got in. for the next 5 hours i was in the tub still violently contracting and to top it off, vomiting. because i was vomiting during contractions it made my back spaz out. it really was the worst feeling ever. i knew then that i wouldnt be able to do a natural birth. i think i even said it a few times. but i really wanted to be dedicated to my plan and i really wanted to do what i thought would be best. and i continued to labor at the birth center. it was getting to the point that i knew i needed to go to the hospital. i couldnt push because the back pain was too intense and it magnified each of the contractions by 100%. i said that i needed to be transferred and that i couldnt do it anymore. the midwives asked if adam and i wanted to talk about it to see if thats what i really wanted to do. adam gave me a blessing at the time and i tried to carry on. it went on for a couple more hours with no progress. maizie wasnt coming down any further in the birth canal, i was losing what energy i had left and the back pain was only making everything worse. at that point i decided i was done. i told them to call an ambulance and to take me to get the medicine that i needed. the midwives asked again if adam and i wanted to talk about it, and i said no, i already know that i cant and i need to go.

the ambulance was called. but the ambulance people who volunteer to do it all had to drive to the fire station that is about 15 miles away from the birth center. guess where they all live...the same street as the birth center. and because i was not in a life-threatening situation, we couldnt say "it's an emergency; please speed." we had to go with "she changed her mind about the whole natural thing and would now like drugs. can you take her?" it took them about half an hour to get there. the whole time i was having contractions that were 5 minutes apart and doing nothing but causing me to be in agony. part of the reason things were not progressing is maizie had her head aimed towards my right hip, preventing her from being able to go down the birth canal. finally the ambulance gets there, they take me and get me all ready and BUCKLE me down. really, are you kidding me? it was horrible not being able to move during a contraction. they take me and put me in the ambulance and then the driver says he needs to use the bathroom. what? no, i need medicine and it's not my fault you didnt think about your bladder before you left your house like half an hour ago. cross your legs and drive; you can pee later. but i, of course, couldnt say that because i was in too much pain. finally the dude gets in and we go. it was the longest drive of my life. the more i tried to relax, the worse it got. somewhere along the line, maizie decided that she would happily turn to get into position. this made the contractions worse and more frequent. by this point i am that crazy pregnant lady that you expect to murder anybody that breathes the wrong way and is blaming her husband for everything. i couldnt help but yell because of the pain, and i am sorry for the hearing loss of those around me. we finally got to the hospital, they take me in and i tried my best to be quiet. i really did. but i couldnt help it; i started stuttering and moaning and as soon as i got into the room i had to let it out. if there were any teenagers witnessing this it would be guaranteed they would not be having sex because they wouldnt want to end up like "that lady".

the sweet nurses were trying to do the intake as fast as they could and i had to try to answer questions for them. ha! nice try on that one. i kept asking for the medicine, they all told me i had to wait for the doctor to examine me. the entire time i was still yelling when the contractions were coming. they kept telling me to "bare down", and i kept thinking "is nobody understanding that my back wont let me bare down? wouldnt i have just finished this if i could bear down during a contraction?" so the doctor comes in and he checks me and says, "you know youre too far along for an epidural...", i start to freak out a little more in my head at this point, "but what i think you would be a great candidate for is an intrathecal...". he did try to explain what it was but i already said "fine, do it, great do it now, where's the anesthesiologist?" and he still was trying to explain it. finally the anesthesiologist came in and starts explaining things again to me. and i couldnt let her get a word in edgewise, i just kept saying, "great, lets do it, ok, just do it" finally they had me sign the release and they started to get me ready. the whole time they were explaining what they were going to be doing and, thinking about it now, the last thing i remember is her saying "ok i am going to numb the skin now." and i remember her numbing it and saying that "feels good." how sad is it when getting numbed to be even more numbed that it's a relief to you. a short time later, all of the pain medication was in and i couldnt feel any pain. it was like i got my personality back, i could talk again, without stuttering or yelling, i actually had a desire to push, and the contractions and back pain became a bad memory. i was able to talk to people and focus. life was good. and a few minutes later i was able to start pushing.

after a couple of pushes they were able to see maizie's head, and after a few more we were ready for the doctor, who walked in as soon as they pressed the button to call him. maizie was born after about 20 minutes of pushing. i didnt get to hold her right away because there was meconium in the water and they didnt want her to inhale any of it. so the nicu had to check her out first. and even though she was only feet away from me i couldnt help but cry. i needed to hold her. after she was checked out they gave her to me and life was complete! i could look into her eyes and smell her and kiss her and it was perfect, the last 29 hours were a blur. she was here. adam was able to watch the whole thing, front and center and he even cut her umbilical cord. adam was an amazing support to me the entire time. anything i wanted, he did. i am so grateful for him and for how it all turned out, even though it wasnt how i planned i am grateful for the ending. here is my favorite picture so far: