1 year old!

maizie turned 1 on march 20, 2011! it truly is unbelievable to me how fast this year has gone. my baby is not so much a baby. she amazes everyday with the things that she can do, and how fast she learns something. she's one of the best things in my life, and i am so grateful to be her mom.

maizie has started trying to run. most the time it doesnt work very well.

she loves pointing at lights, and turning them on and off.

she says "nana" (banana).

her front teeth are finally breaking through! i thought this day would never happen.

she doesnt really care for cake.

maizie has her own sign language. instead of pointing to things she will look at them. ask where grandpa is, she will look in the kitchen...or wherever. she points and does other things with her hands that i just have to figure out.

she is starting to be softer with other kids...at least attempting. she pats them kind of hard while saying "oooh", so she is at least trying to be soft even if she doesnt know how yet.

maizie absolutely loves being in wind. when she feels the breeze she giggles and sticks her hands out to try to touch it.

adam felt that since maizie was turning 1 that she needed to taste a lemon. here is how that went:

we celebrated maizies birthday on saturday with some family and friends. i thought about trying to do it at a park so the kids could run around, but this early in the year in oregon is kind of dangerous to plan anything outside. so i reserved our church building because the gym would be big enough to let kids be crazy. i got playground balls and kid-sized bowling sets, taped out foursquare and hopscotch, and also got some mini lacrosse things to use. i also set up a table for coloring and making old school paper hats:

my mom made the cake and i got a ton of finger foods. the kids were running around and having a great time, when adam accidentally broke one of the big lights in the ceiling while kicking a ball. that was when we decided to have everyone eat, while we cleaned up the glass. maizie liked all of the food but her favorite by far was the strawberries. after that we sang happy birthday to her. she was sitting on my lap and enjoying everyone singing but as soon as they said her name she became very bashful. i also forgot to bring a lighter so we couldnt light her candle. with her cake we decided to put a giraffe and a couple of rubber ducks on it because maizies first favorite toy was a giraffe and she loves ducks:


here is what happened with the singing and the cake:

after that we opened presents. all of the presents were great for her, and we love them all.
it was a really fun day and we are so thankful that everyone could help us celebrate!

goodbye

my grandpa passed away last night. one day after maizie's birthday, and one day before my aunt leann's. my heart is aching so much. there are times that i feel like weeping but i cant because of where i am,or i have maizie. my mom left this morning to be with my grandma.

my grandpa was a great man. he always took care of his family, and worked hard. the things i remember most though are the family dinners we would have in their house in las vegas. he was an amazing carpenter. he helped build the chapel that my family went to church in for years. he would also build things for us grand kids for christmas. (which was no easy task since there are like 40+ of us) i remember sitting on his lap and him teasing me with his dentures, its a fuzzy memory so i cant give details. he would make caramel popcorn, and milk shakes. he taught me how to play yahtzee, and rummy. i loved going into his woodshop, the smell of the lumber was intoxicating. i remember thinking that my grandpa was tough, that he would always be here because nothing could hurt him. even as an adult i still had this belief and its hard to accept that he is gone.

grandpa battled parkinsons disease for decades, (this my be why i always thought of him as tough, he always put up a good fight), and in the last few years has had balance problems. last week he fell and broke some ribs. as a result he was hospitalized had surgery, and had a good prognosis. but when it came time to come back to us he didnt. i will miss him dearly, and will always be grateful for the example he is to me.

may he rest in peace, william walter newell sanders.

give and take

today was an awesome day, and towards the end of the afternoon a sad one. we celebrated maizie's birthday with family and friends today, even though she is not one until tomorrow. i want to post about it but i will tomorrow, and will do pictures. this post tonight is about the sad part so you dont have to read if you dont want to...if thats the case stop now.

as we were cleaning up from the party my cousin scott got a call from his dad looking for my mom. he found out that my grandpa had fallen and broken his ribs. the doctors dont expect him to live through the procedure to fix them. my mom had just left, and wouldnt be home for at least a half hour. i kept trying to call because my dad was sick so he was there, but not awake.

i kept thinking that i didnt want to be the one who told my mom her dad is dying. when she finally picked up i asked her if she had talked to my uncle brent, i had this hope that maybe she was on the other line and thats why she didnt pick up. she said no that she had just walked in the door, and asked whats up. i told her that i didnt have good news. i told her about the call from brent, and that grandpa wasnt expected to make it. she started hyperventilating, and talking about getting to the bank and finding checks. im guessing so that she could have money to go to hermiston where my grandparents live. she asked me about details that i didnt have, and all i could say is that she needed to call my grandma or brent, and that i was so sorry. i dont think i have ever felt so helpless.

my mom and her brother left tonight to be with my grandparents. i plan on going to the funeral. but i keep thinking that i needed to do more. i feel like i have missed out on so much with my grandpa, that i should have visited more often, written letters, or called. i feel so guilty for all of the should haves. going to someones funeral doesnt make up for that.

the count down

i was thinking today that one year ago, while pushing a chair in at the table my water broke. and thus began the final drop on the roller coaster ride that was my labor, that finally ended 4 days later! i'd like to think that i will never forget that experience, but the last few months of seeing adam's grandma has made me think otherwise. anyway just thought i'd share that tidbit.