today was an awesome day, and towards the end of the afternoon a sad one. we celebrated maizie's birthday with family and friends today, even though she is not one until tomorrow. i want to post about it but i will tomorrow, and will do pictures. this post tonight is about the sad part so you dont have to read if you dont want to...if thats the case stop now.
as we were cleaning up from the party my cousin scott got a call from his dad looking for my mom. he found out that my grandpa had fallen and broken his ribs. the doctors dont expect him to live through the procedure to fix them. my mom had just left, and wouldnt be home for at least a half hour. i kept trying to call because my dad was sick so he was there, but not awake.
i kept thinking that i didnt want to be the one who told my mom her dad is dying. when she finally picked up i asked her if she had talked to my uncle brent, i had this hope that maybe she was on the other line and thats why she didnt pick up. she said no that she had just walked in the door, and asked whats up. i told her that i didnt have good news. i told her about the call from brent, and that grandpa wasnt expected to make it. she started hyperventilating, and talking about getting to the bank and finding checks. im guessing so that she could have money to go to hermiston where my grandparents live. she asked me about details that i didnt have, and all i could say is that she needed to call my grandma or brent, and that i was so sorry. i dont think i have ever felt so helpless.
my mom and her brother left tonight to be with my grandparents. i plan on going to the funeral. but i keep thinking that i needed to do more. i feel like i have missed out on so much with my grandpa, that i should have visited more often, written letters, or called. i feel so guilty for all of the should haves. going to someones funeral doesnt make up for that.
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