Atticus' birth

I wrote this...I don't know how long ago and may have been on drugs from my surgery at the time. Good luck.

 On May 29th I had a prenatal with Dy. I told her that I was planning on calling Dr. Ott's office to schedule an induction. I was 10 days over due. She asked if she could check me to see how dilated I was etc. I said yes. She said that I was a 4-5, and asked if i would like her to strip my membranes. I said "YES!". She told me while she stripped them that my cervix was very soft and that without doing much at all it went to a 6. She also said that when she normally strips membranes that she can only get her finger up to the first knuckle in the cervix, but that she was able to get to the third knuckle and could almost touch Atticus' ear. She said that she would see me that night to deliver Atticus. I was not so sure. I would have random contractions. No pattern, not much pain, and not the usual feeling of the contractions I thought I should be having to start labor. Erin came up that night. We just hung out, and finally went to bed around one. I started having contractions almost immediately. Still no real pattern, but much more painful and longer than before. Finally around 3:30am I asked Adam to call Dy because I couldn't sleep through the contractions anymore. After he called her he came in and was rubbing my back, which felt really amazing. I kept asking him to take me to the hospital, and telling him I didn't want to do this without drugs. Then at 3:53am my water broke. I felt it burst, and really thought I heard it pop! Adam says there wasn't a pop so maybe it was something only I heard as it was in my body. I started to cry. I knew that things were going to be more intense, and that the hard part was coming. I'm pretty sure that I was fully dilated at that point, I was feeling the beginnings of the "pushing" contractions but was in denial. Adam helped me into the shower and took care of the piddle pad that I had been sleeping on. I don't know how long I was in the shower but Gina got here while I was in there. I thought I should probably get out so I could have hot water for the birth tub. I Took off the remnants of my mascara and put on a tank top and my robe. I decided I didn't want to be in the bathroom, but didn't know where I really wanted to be. In the end the most comfortable thing was kneeling in front of the couch while resting my arms on it. Adam brought out pillows for me. I tried to muffle my cries and moans in the pillows. Dy got here and started setting up the tub. She was watching me, and knew that I should be pushing and knew that the pool was not really an option anymore. I kept asking to go to the hospital. She said ok and asked to check me. She did and told me that if we tried to go to the hospital I would be having the baby on the stairs. Logically I knew it was too late but kept asking to go, even when I was pushing.
Throughout all of this Adam was trying to make things comfortable for me and asked if I wanted music, or pillows, or anything, trying to do his best to help out. I really appreciated it. It felt like he was really trying to support me and take care of me during this. After Dy checked me I knew that I had to start pushing. I had put it off for too long. I couldn't move so I had to push where I was, the floor in front of the sofa. The reason I kept holding back was I didn't want to poop. It was embarrassing, but in the end that's what happened. No choice. I could feel the contractions getting more and more intense and was trying to just go into my own place. I felt really distracted by any talking to me. They could talk around me but not to me. I was trying to be nice and I think that I told Adam to "shhh" or "not talk" to me. Dy at one point said "You're feeling it now" that was when I couldn't be so nice and sort of yelled at her to not "tell me I'm feeling it!" After that it was just a matter of me pushing. I tried to listen to my body and do what came naturally, but the part of me that avoids pain at any cost kept wanting to not push. It took a while to get past that and when I did I was able to really get to work. I don't know how long I was pushing, not very long at all though. Through out it I remember feeling only two things distinctly. The first was my hip or pelvis popping out of place. I know that I yelled for that, it was painful and shocking. Second was I could feel his head trying to get past my pubic bone. When Atticus finally got past my pubic bone I only had to push one more time and he came out. There was no crowning and moving back, he just came out all the way to his middle. He started crying before his bottom half was out. One more push and then next thing I knew he was on my chest. It was very surreal to finally have him here. I remember holding him and thinking how big he felt but small at the same time. His cry was also so small. We didn't cut his cord right away, it was almost half an hour after he was born that we cut it. He was able to get all of the cord blood because of this. After getting cleaned up and moved into the bed my energy felt pretty good despite the lack of any real sleep. Adam was super excited to have Maizie come and meet Atticus. He went to get her and Erin. While I was sitting in bed I felt like all my muscles were like jell-o. I couldn't sit up straight. Maizie came in and was very happy to see Atticus. She asked what we were going to do to take care of him. We talked about all the things we will do to take care of him and she likes looking at him. We have a video of that conversation. We also took some pictures. It felt like a lot were taken. Among them is the first picture as a family.
Eventually everybody realized they were hungry and Erin took Maizie and got breakfast at McDonalds for everyone who wanted it. After eating Dy and Gina left and I tried to get some sleep. Adam and Erin took Atticus while I slept, but I felt weird being the only one not up and about. Like I needed to be doing things, and I was really sad I didn't have Atticus with me. Eventually I got up and went out to be with everyone. Everything is kind of a blur. I know that I got up to be with everyone but I also slept a lot so things feel confused in how they happened.
Maizie and Erin made a chocolate cake that everyone enjoyed. Maizie really loved doing that. Even now she likes to "write" in the batter with a spoon when we bake.
Atticus slept well his first day and the days that followed. I actually had to wake hime to feed him to start getting my milk up.
Erin stayed with us to help out for a few days, which I am eternally grateful for. I was so worried about how things would go and that I would have to get up immediately and start cooking. Amber also set up a few days of dinners to be brought in, something else that I am grateful for.
I can't remember much else. My memories of that day are disjointed and blurry. I know that I am so thankful for the help we received and that things went well with the delivery. It was such a  blessing to be able to have Atticus at home. It was an amazing experience, especially to be able to have Maizie and Erin here to help us welcome him. Even though it was painful I feel that this was a much more gentle birth, and that is what I wanted to have.