breaking the water...

today is the day that we thought we were going to break the water...notice how i say "thought". i believe that my water broke all on its own on tuesday, march 16. all day on tuesday i was having contractions. most of the time they were about 5 minutes apart, but there were some times that they were anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes apart. after dinner i was pushing the chairs in around the table and all of a sudden my pants were wet. i thought maybe i lost control of my bladder, but the more i think about it, the more i know that it was my water breaking. when you pee—even when you are almost 2 weeks over due—you definitely know that you are peeing yourself and have lost control. this was nothing like that.

when it happened, i called angie, the midwife who is over my care. i told her what had happened and that i wasnt sure, but i thought my water broke. so did she have me come in to get checked? no. she wanted me to see if the contractions formed any pattern and got stronger because the contractions i was having were not painful at all. at most it just made it a little hard to breathe, but i could still talk through it. she also wanted me to go and have a non stress test to go along with the second ultrasound just to make sure things were all good.

ok so we go to the hospital and they hook me up to the monitors and i am having contractions 3 to 4 minutes apart but still not painful. on the scale from 1 to 12 that they use i think the "biggest" one was about a 6 or 7, which, to me, didnt really hurt. adam and i decided that since we were already halfway to the birth center that we should stick around salem for a while to see if anything happens. we went to target and walked around for about an hour. during that time, the contractions stayed the same pain wise and were still about 3 to 4 minutes apart; at most they were 5. they were also getting to the point where i would have to stop walking. i also had to pee, so we decided to sit down for a little while. when i was in the bathroom i didnt notice any contractions, so that made it look like they stopped for about 10 minutes. but after we sat for a few minutes they were back to normal, 5 minutes apart. i called angie and asked her what we should do. her answer: go home and sleep, take a bath, etc., and hopefully the contractions would continue to get stronger and then give her a call.

we went home and—surprise!—i was able to sleep through the night. i was still leaking water; not a ton, but enough to need a pad or risk the chance of looking like i peed myself again. when i talked to angie again, i told her that i was still leaking but no regular contractions anymore. did she say she wanted me to come in and see if my water really is broken? nope. just take it easy, go for a walk, take a bath, eat something. i was getting slightly annoyed at this point and was kind of scared to do anything that might cause me to lose any more fluid, so i pretty much stayed in bed all day on wednesday; i only got up to pee and get more water.

on thursday (yesterday) it was kind of the same thing! angie called to check in with me but there was still no change at that point. i didnt do anything again in fear that i would lose more water. but by the time adam got home i was getting restless and thinking that i was having good contractions when i was walking so lets go for a walk and get them going again and that will be it. on the walk i definitely felt the water leaking out so i told adam that i really thought my water was broken, and called angie as soon as we got home. so finally she was like, "ok, we can check you." and we set up a time and then she called me back to have me do a "roll over test" which is to get some toilet paper, put it in your underwear, and then lay on your side, go to your back, and then to the other side. this should make some fluid leak out if your water is broken. it didnt work; there was no fluid when i got done. i called her and told her that and it sounded like she was trying to tell me not to worry about it and it felt like she was trying to get out of checking me but i insisted.

on the way to the birth center, i kept doubting myself and thinking that i was just making a big deal out of nothing, and feeling horrible. we got here and waited for a while; angie was running behind. she called to let me know that the lady who was cleaning would let us in. so we went in and i did the urine test and things were way out of whack. there were trace amounts of protein, my pH was off, i was slightly dehydrated, and there was blood in the urine. sounds amazing, right? so i am all freaked out while we are waiting for her to get here. angie got here about 10 minutes after i did the pee test. i told her all the results and we talked for a few minutes, she took my blood pressure and then she did the exam and test to see if the water is broken. guess what, it was and the little q-tip thing that tests the pH of the water was as dark as you can get! so i wasnt crazy, my water did break and i was probably headed towards labor on tuesday had she listened to me.

after the exam, we were given the option to go home or to stay at the birth center. i chose to go home because i thought i would be more comfortable and be able to start labor easier. thats not how it worked out. i did get a little more sleep than i would have at the birth center, but labor didnt start. i slept through all the contractions that i did have, which i dont think were all that many. but i woke up about 5 this morning, worried, and forced myself back to sleep and then again at 6, still worried. i couldnt stop thinking about my sister who had to have an emergency c-section because the doctor didnt catch the fact that her water broke and she lost all the fluid. i was crying and having horrible worries and it made me feel really discouraged and like i didnt want to go back to the birth center. so i was dragging my feet getting ready, i didnt even try to wake adam up. eventually i knew we had to go, so we did and we got here about 1:00.

patricia, who is the midwife i started out with, was here and doing my intake papers. i really have missed having her as my midwife. she could tell right away that i was out of sorts and asked me how things were. i feel more comfortable with her and i really wish that i could have kept her as my main person. but, as it is, i cant. she will be here, though, and that makes me feel much better. after she finished all of the paperwork, she checked my blood pressure and listened to the heart tones of the baby. then said that we could walk, but just be back in an hour so she could check the heart tones of the baby again. it was a relief to be able to be outside. it's been a gorgeous day and we were able to walk through some beautiful farms. while we were out i had a few contractions but nothing painful...i think i am one of those ladies who just doesnt feel it til the end.

when we got back they had a breast pump waiting for me for "nipple stimulation". it's one of the natural ways they induce labor because it will make your body produce oxytocin which is the natural form of pitocin. i dont know whats more awkward, as far as natural methods go, the castor oil or the breast pump. either way it is not much fun, but i think the breast pump method at least has more merit than the castor oil and you can control it more.

right now it's about 6:30. and we have been having contractions regularly, but no pattern. i keep hoping for a pattern and for it to form quickly because i cant take much more of this. i just want to hold my baby and be moving on with our lives, instead of wondering what is going to happen next.